How to Avoid You Ruining My Life
by funny-person-23
Summary: Man,this sucks! They're going to destroy me! They'll turn me into into public enemy #1! I really don't want to do this but it's time they learn about embrassment. Responsiblity. Pain.
1. Chapter 1

**My life is ruined**

"What?" Kankuro eyes grew wide as he realized his world was going to fall apart.

"Kankuro, please don't shout. Besides it's just 'till we can find some other school to put them in." Tsunade said coolly, growing annoyed. She knew he would act like this and she didn't blame him.

"Please, Kankuro. Do this for me. I know of their reputation but no one else will take them! Their records are preposterous! The only reason Naruto and the others are still in school is their outstanding grades." Tsunade reasoned, hoping to get through to him. But Kankuro just raised his thin eyebrows.

"Ok, Sakura, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Neji, Shino, and Temari and, hey, maybe even Hinata and Tenten I believe can have 'outstanding' grades, but the others… I can't see having anything above a C+." Tsunade sighed, seeing no other choice but to play her final card.

"You know, I didn't have to tell you that their coming to your school. You don't even have a say in the matter, weather they go or not. I'm the Hokage, dammit! I can put them where I want, if the school will accept!" Tsunade stood, placing her hands on her desk, like she own the place. Because, well, she kind of did.

Kankuro threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, out of ideas. He started to pace back and forth, looking anywhere but Tsunade's fierce expression. He studied the tan walls, the polished, wooden desk, the stacks of paper unfinished, and the large, square windows overlooking the Hidden Leaf Village. He could just make out the temporary house his 'family' was staying at. Kankuro also spotted the one building that could solve the whole sharing the same school with his psycho siblings and their delusional friends.

"What about Juvie?"

"Kankuro, they won't even take them. Look, all I'm asking is that if you could keep an eye out for them. Show them the ropes and unofficial rules you teens have at your high school. If they're kicked out of this school, then the next school crazy enough to accept them may not be even in this village and I don't know if we'll be able to reach them in time if something happens." Tsunade lowered her eyes to her desk, as if going over the possibilities.

Now it was Kankuro's turn to sigh. He ran a frustrated hand through his brown, spiky hair as he went over his options. Change his name? No, become invisible? Not possible, pretend I don't know them and just text the dos and don'ts? They probably take that as a challenge and destroy his school life. How about pretend we're not related? Last name, duh!

"This sucks." Kankuro concluded, finding that his life was now ruined.

"True, very true. Just try to make the best of it." Tsunade agreed. Sighing again, Kankuro leaned against the desk in front of the windows, where most of the paperwork overflowed. He looked Tsunade straight in the eye and stated clearly and coolly, so she won't try to change his mind.

"I'll help them but I'm not going to cover for them. Ever. I will not tutor them on my school's ways. I'll advise them but that's it. It's time they learn to take responsibly, consideration, and understanding of their problems and the people in them. And I will certainly not be 'friends' with them."

Tsunade met his gaze dead on and in spite of their gravely conversation, a small smirk formed on her lips.

"Excellent."


	2. Chapter 2

**Setting up The Play**

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

*click*

Kankuro groaned and rolled over, wishing that he changed his alarm clock to the radio last night. He cracked an eye open as he heard strong, feminine voice overflowing with confidence bellowed down the stairs.

"Kankuro! I heard that alarm clock! Get up and get your ass in gear! I don't want to be late to wreak havoc on your school!"

"Shut up Temari." Kankuro muttered but wouldn't dare say it any louder. He slowly placed his feet on the cold floor of his basement bedroom. He just sat there on his bed, scanning his room, taking in his bearings, so he wouldn't have that woozy feeling if you got up too fast after just waking up. Feeling more awake after a few minutes, Kankuro jumped up and sped around his room, getting everything he would need for his first day of his sophomore year in high school.

Black kitty-hood jacket, baggy jeans, Led Zeppelin t-shirt, summer book report, back pack, lunch money, and punk attitude all accounted for; Kankuro emerged from the depths of his room 10 minutes later.

"'Morning, Beautiful." Kankuro remarked sarcastically to his sister, Temari, as he walked into the kitchen. Still in her pajamas, hair a rat's nest, and crust still in her eyes, it was too good to pass up. Temari glared at him, clearly warning him to cut it out, if he wanted to even have a chance to look 'beautiful' again. But still Kankuro thought, it's so worth.

"You know, Temari. You might want to get moving yourself, because my school starts 15 minutes earlier than your old school. So unless you want to look like crap on your first day of school, start moving." He said, with a smirk as his sister's eyes filled with anger and realization. She threw the cereal box, she has about to dump into the bowl in front of her, at his head and stormed into the bathroom down the hall, yelling "Baka!" on her way.

Kankuro caught the box easily before it even got within 8 inches of his face. He chuckled to himself at his sister's stress, considering he took the liberty of putting up a note on the refrigerator, saying 'School starts at 7:15 NOT 7:30.'

"She's so going to kill you." Called a cold voice from the kitchen door. Kankuro looked up to find his younger brother Gaara leaning against the door frame connecting the kitchen to the living room. Wearing his signature eyeliner, ripped jeans, and a grim reaper t-shirt, Gaara looked like an average teenager. But Kankuro knew what lurked underneath his pale complexion. A monster that once ran loose but was tamed by a boy named Naruto Uzumaki. Shukaku.

Kankuro started to drum his fingers against the countertop, growing restless from waiting around so long. The polished stone, gray, and bland, made a small thump, thump, thump sound and Kankuro hated it. He stopped drumming his fingers and started to make some toast.

"I know that but she can do that after breakfast." Kankuro replied as he dropped the bread into the toaster and pressed the lever down.

"Then you might want to make a bigger breakfast." Gaara stated. As the toast popped up, Gaara stalked over to swipe a piece but Kankuro grabbed them both and held them out of reach. Gaara growled but couldn't even reach his brother's elbows and Kankuro being around half a foot taller, didn't help. Kankuro laughed again before saying, "Tut, tut. I thought we went over this, say 'please'."

But Gaara just growled again and Kankuro seeing he had his fun gave him a piece of toast. A couple minutes later Temari walked in, fresh and stunning in her black skinny jeans, a lavender t-shirt with a glittering skull on it, and sliver converse over her gray anklets. She was just finishing her fourth messy ponytail, when she slapped Kankuro upside the head.

"Jerk! You could tell me that your school has a different starting time then what I'm used to! I was supposed to meet up with the girls today before school!" Temari shouted, clearly ticked off at him.

"Ok, ouch and I did tell you. At some point." Kankuro explained, smirking.

"Don't be a smart mouth with me! Now let's go before I'm late!" she exclaimed, grabbing Kankuro by the ear and dragged him outside, Gaara following behind grabbing his and Kankuro's backpacks.

"Ow, ow, ow! Temari, I know where the sidewalk is! Ow!"

Once they reached the sidewalk, Temari let go of Kankuro's ear and started to babble about random girl things. Kankuro's mind started to wander as he found no interest in Shikamaru's 'bubble butt'. He noticed how Gaara was looking furious at the topic of the conversation and smiled. He honesty couldn't care less who Temari had a crush on, just as long as he didn't walk in on them and it stayed at the guy's house.

Kankuro heard birds chirping and found how annoying all this life everywhere really is. Back at Suna there never all this, no grass growing in between the sidewalk squares, no birds chirping so happily, and definitely no bugs feasting on all this ghastly flowers. It's all so loud and distracting. As if to prove his point, a bug started to buzz around Kankuro's face.

"Are you sure you know where you're going? Kankuro?" Gaara's voice ripped through Kankuro's solitude, yanking him back to reality. His head snapped to the nearest street sign and relaxed as he saw that they where 2 blocks away from the school. 2 blocks? I still need to convince them to act civilizited!

"Kankuro! Hello?" Temari flicked his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

"What?" Kankuro snapped, frustrated with his dooming situation.

"Do you know where you're going?" Temari had stopped walking and refused to move another inch until her question was answered. Kankuro stopped and turned to face his sister, a plan starting to form. He answered slowly and clearly, setting up his trap.

"Yes its right up a head, just around the corner."

"Great! I can't wait to see the fresh meat. They're all a bunch of prisses, right? Oh, it'll be too easy!" Temari started to walk again passing Kankuro and Gaara started to follow her. They almost rounded the corner, when Kankuro called out to them.

"Bet you can't do it!" They stopped dead in their tracks, sensing a challenge beneath Kankuro's words.

"Do what?" They asked, curiosity nipping at their question. Kankuro took his time and strode up to them luxuriously. When he caught up to them, he smiled his innocent, falsely sweet smile, knowing he had them right where he wanted them.

"You know. Go a long time without turning a school upside down."

Temari's eyes shined mischievously, not to be underestimated. Gaara just stared blankly at him, telling Kankuro he captured his interest too.

"How long we talking about here?" Temari asked, wanting in voice, and Kankuro knew just what she wanted. To prove him wrong.

"Oh just a couple of months, maybe 6?" Kankuro started to walk again, now that he stated his claim. But he also knew that if he put out there so casually, they'll both want details and an actually bet.

Temari ran to catch up with her brother, before she went full speed into her accusations. Just Kankuro knew she would. He had a thing to be able to read people's actions. The way their eyes move, their posture, tension, the way they talked, the words they chose, and their attitude were all indications on how to treat them and how to manipulate them.

"So 6 months of no pranks, fights or skipping class? I can do that and so can Gaara, but why? What's the catch?"

"No catch. I just want to see if you and you're friends have any will power at all." Kankuro said simply, not wanting to give away his real motive.

"What? Shikamaru and the others? They can do it to. I mean Naruto might need to be kept an eye on but we can do that. What are we betting?"

By now they had reached the parking lot of the school and Gaara had caught up. Kankuro watched the people passing by, trying to decide what to bet. He didn't think of that. He watched a car pull into the parking lot and look for a spot when it hit him.

"What about who gets to chose the next family car?" Kankuro suggested. It was all they fought about for the past couple of weeks. Gaara wanted a black hummer, while Temari wanted a typical red convertible, and Kankuro just wanted a dark green van. The van would be the easiest to transport large items or carry a lot of people at once, so Kankuro thought it was best but Temari kept saying since she was the one with the license, that she should chose. Gaara just wanted to put his say out there out there.

"Yes! That's it! Whoever wins get's to choose the next car! You're on but because there's 14 people on my side accountable for we get a couple of freebies and you have to have proof we did something if you suspect." Temari countered, for even she doubted they can go a whole 6 months without screwing up once.

"Ok. Two freebies and if I think you did something I have to have proof. Seems fair. Alright the bet starts today and ends on March 4th, if you screw up three times I get to choose the car. You don't, you get to. Deal?"

"Deal!" And with that Temari walked off to find her friends. Gaara again started to follow but not leaving before saying, "Dude, you can kiss your van goodbye." Kankuro smiled, having his play go perfectly. They fell for the bait and now have the determination to prove him wrong. They just don't realize that to prove him wrong, they have to be good little children and not get in trouble. And that's exactly what he wanted.


	3. Chapter 3

**You Can't but I Can**

Kankuro stepped out of the lunch line, tray in hand eyes scanning the social network for his fellow outcasts. Finding them at the usual spot by the wall of windows on the far side of the lunchroom, he started his treacherous journey across the cafeteria. You can see a lot of things on this journey, like geek love, gays still in denial, and dare spin the bottle, a game where you spin a can of coke and whoever it lands on has to do a dare with the spinner. It's never pretty.

"Sup, Kankuro?" Botan asked. Botan was your typical punk with midnight dark hair gelled into points, wearing a red sweat shirt with a black, bloody star in the center, and dark jeans. No matter how many times people would sneer 'how original' or 'poser', he kept dressing punk because he was the real deal. Not cold but real.

"Nothing, just moping." Kankuro replied. He sat down a seat from Botan, next to Hisoka. He was wearing black sport shorts and a basketball t-shirt but there is nothing jock about him. Insanely smart and with stunning good looks, Hisoka was a heart throb for every girl at one point but he'll never date anyone under the alibi of that he already has a girlfriend. Kankuro has never seen her and Hisoka never talks about her, so Kankuro thinks a bunch of crap.

"Ok we'll bite. What are you moping about?" Suzuki said with a smirk. Waiting for an answer, she pushed her black hair out of her light green eyes. The thing was that her hair was also streaked with red, which she claims is natural because her mother was exposed to a huge amount of radiation when she was pregnant with her only daughter. The streaks were a reminder of the incident but pulling her hair up into flowing pigtails on either side of her head didn't make them any less noticeable.

"You know that bet I made with my sister?" Kankuro started, worry coming back as he thought about it.

"The one about you distracting them to not be the jerks they are." Botan confirmed.

"Yes, that one. Now I'm glad they've stayed out of trouble but lately, we've been kind of on edge. Whenever they're around it seems like they're ready to snap at any sudden movements. It's creepy. And it's only been a couple of weeks. What's going to happen if they keep this up? They'd probably go crazy!"

Kankuro looked around the cafeteria until he found where his siblings and their friends where sitting in the far corner. They were mildly talking but Kankuro knew that they really want to create some stress for someone.

Hisoka snapped his fingers in front of Kankuro's face, bringing him back to their table before saying, "Dude you just described yourself, minus the snapping part. You're worrying too much. Just relax; they haven't even used one freebie yet. And if they fail, you get to choose your family's next car. So start being yourself again and chill, your stress is really starting to bug me."

"Oh thank you, Great Hisoka-san. Those words have never crossed my mind. Please lead me to your lazy, care-free life style. It's not like I was the one who taught you how to be a lazy-ass in the first place." Kankuro even added a mock bow in Hisoka's direction to his fake speech of acceptance. Everyone started laughing at their role play, as Hisoka started mimicking an over ego jock, flexing his muscles.

Sakura had grown tired of the petty conversation going on at her table, so she got up to throw out the rest of her lunch, refusing to give it to Chouji. When she reached the trash can, she noticed Kankuro staring at her table before a totally hot guy snapped his fingers in front of Kankuro's face, bring him back to their conversation. She watched them laugh at something Kankuro said and his and the hot guy's little play.

Sakura became annoyed at Kankuro's happiness, how it was his fault with the school year going so badly. If Temari hadn't taken up that stupid bet, this school would be up in flames, by now. No, Kankuro tricked Temari into taking that bet! He had always been good at manipulating people but now it was time to get even for their suffering.

Sakura stalked back over to her table and slammed her hands on the lunch table, starling everyone. She looked them each of them dead in the eye and said, "Want to destroy someone's school life?"

"Okay, okay. It has to be his face! I mean come on! It's like some stuck a mixer on high right on the nose!" Suzuki exclaimed, a wicked smile on her face.

"Yeah but is always sweating, so his shirts are always soiled, that's what tops it off!" Botan countered, not ready to give up just yet.

"Whoa, whoa! Hold on, I think you're all forgetting one thing." Kankuro interjected in their debate. They all looked at him, puzzlement in their eyes. Kankuro wiggled his eyebrows, giving them a clue. A moment passed before realization lit up their eyes. Botan slapped his head in his stupidity, Suzuki just gaped at him like she was amazed that he could even bring up the topic, and Hisoka chuckled, agreeing with Kankuro.

"That's right. His abnormally hairy…" Kankuro started and Botan picked up.

"Totally nit infested…" Suzuki wanted in, so she added.

"Home to the biggest case of dandruff I've ever seen…"

"Unibrow!" Hisoka finished off, not wanting to be left out. They all burst out laughing. It was cruel; to talk about someone's ugliness but Mr. Fujita had handed out a pulberizing pop quiz on the vast quantities of physics.

Now everyone sitting at the table was honor roll smart but Mr. Fujita had only introduced the topic two days ago and the first day was introduction, not really learning. Kankuro believed he passed but only barely and it had given him a major headache. So it was only natural to take revenge the only way they can… and to stick an extremely angry family of sparrows in his car.

But the laughter died quickly as a shadow crossed over the table and Kankuro felt a heavy weight pull on his neck. Before he knew it, two snake-like arms circled his neck and tugged his head harshly to the flat stomach of none other than his sister.

"Kankuro! How are you? It's been like forever!" Temari's voice rang out throughout the lunchroom making some people turn their heads. Kankuro inwardly groaned. Here we go.

"So, are these your friends?"Sakura asked, sliding into the seat next to Botan, nudging him. Botan shifted away from her and darted an annoyed glance at Kankuro. Botan has serious temper issues; it's why no one sits next to him. It's not a germ phobic thing but Botan just feels safer and less angry when he has his space.

"So Kankuro, is this fine lady your girlfriend?" Naruto asked a devilish grin on his face as he checked Suzuki out. That bugged Kankuro. He wasn't one of those love-crazed stalker boys but in his eyes, not just anyone can hit on his best friend.

"No, but I wouldn't go snooping around that tree, or you'll learn that are many definitions of pain. And Suzuki knows how to inflict all of them." Kankuro replied, smirking but his eyes were cold and it made Naruto shiver, getting the message.

"So what are you doing here? I mean, we get visitors all the time from Dare Spin the Bottle but this is a little much." Hisoka questioned, his eyes locked on the pale boy who sat across from him. The boy's raven hair stuck up in the back and he had dark eyes, he seemed supiorer to the others something Hisoka very much disliked. No one is better than anyone else. You can't compare one human being against another, you just can't.

"Oh ya, know. Just wanting to see how our Kankuro is doing." The boy said smirking at Hisoka. Kankuro started tapping his fingers against the lunch table, growing frustrated as he watched the scene play out before him. Naruto kept hitting on Suzuki, despite Kankuro's warning, Sasuke, the boy, was acting like a king, which was defiantly ticking Hisoka off, and Sakura kept bugging Botan, getting closer and closer. If that girl wanted to keep her arms, then she better back off.

Kankuro needed to think of something. He knew what they were doing. Pretending to be innocent, caring friends, while they slowly tear his friends apart, making them blame him for his 'friends' annoyance. Temari's arms tighten around his neck, telling him that there would be no proof. He can't take a freebie way for them just trying to socialize, even if it did ruin everything. Good thing it was only Temari, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. If Neji, Shino, Shikamaru, Gaara and Lee were here, Botan would have cracked already. Too many touchy, annoying, in for a good wake up call, jackasses.

Kankuro stopped tapping the table and looked at each of his friends, smirking as gestured slightly to the invading personnel. Botan was the first to notice but of course his eyes were trained on Kankuro, saying if this chick doesn't knock it off, she's never going to knock again. Hisoka noticed it next, ready to make them go away. Suzuki didn't even need to up; she had been planning the same thing.

"So Naruto, tell me about yourself. Or would you rather not use words?" Suzuki asked seductively, distracting Naruto.

"Oh, yes! You see Kankuro! I knew she would warm up to me!" Naruto agreed, liking the way the conversation was going.

"What was your name again?" Hisoka said to Sasuke, so Kankuro won't have to worry about him catching on. Botan just kept doing what he was doing before, ignoring Sakura, just egging her on.

All the while, Kankuro was using his chakra strings to loosening the bolts to the table. When he was done, he tapped on the table a different rhythm. -. .- .-. . -, Morse code.

In a flash, Suzuki jumped up from the table, chucking her left over jello at Temari, catching her jeans. Botan slipped his hand under his tray and lifted it up to meet Sakura's stunned face, bits of cheese steak getting caught in her pink hair. Botan and Kankuro quickly got up from the shaking table, as Hisoka turned it over, on top of Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto gave a yelp as he fell to the ground, dropping his unopened soda can. Kankuro snatched the can before it hit the ground and started to shake it. Once he felt the pressure build up in the can, Kankuro shoved it in Temari's face before snapping the lid. Soda and fizz sprayed everywhere, most hitting Temari's forehead and cheeks.

She screamed before pushing the can away and yelled, "What the heck, Kankuro? We had a bet!"

"Yeah, for you and your friends, nothing ever said I couldn't do anything either. Just because you can't do something doesn't mean I can't do it either." Kankuro smiled at his point but it was filled with venom and hate. Temari's eyes shone fiercely before turning on her heel and storming out of the cafeteria, leaving the mess behind.

Sakura kept hitting Botan in the chest, crying out insults fit for a king, while Botan just laughed hysterically at her petite anger, reminding her she was asking for it. Sasuke kept trying to punch Hisoka, once he was free of the table but it was no use Hisoka grew up with six brothers and two very aggressive sisters he knew how to dodge a couple of fists. Suzuki was walking around Narrator's half buried figure, stepping deliberately on his blond hair, clucking her tongue at the boy's foolishness.

After a few more grunts of pain from Naruto, Suzuki turned to the shocked lunchroom and stated, "They were asking for it."

She then turned to her friends and pointed out, "We should leave and come up with an alibi before it gets too suspicious."

"Good point." Hisoka agreed and they left the lunchroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Calming Her Down and Paying the Price**

"He did what?" Gaara's voice rang throughout the abandoned apartment, making his voice sound a whole octave higher. He started pacing around the confined space, kicking at anything that got in his way.

"I told you! He stuck it in my face and cracked the can! It'll take me forever to get the stains out of my shirt! Or should I say it'll take him forever!" Temari raged, her hands shaking in anger.

Her brother had gone too far this time! Temari had seen a flash of blue but never would have thought Kankuro had the guts to do such a thing. Then there was the jell-o on her jeans. It bounced off, but Kankuro's stupid friend had a habit of mixing things and turned some of it, into a liquid.

"You're not the only! That dude with the black hair, smashed his food in my face! I'm still finding cheese and caramelized onion in my hair!" Sakura wailed, lying on the beat up couch in the middle of the room.

"At least a TABLE wasn't dumped on you with everyone else's lunch!" Naruto growled at Sakura. He was seated at his usual perch, sticking to the ceiling above Temari with his chakra. His face said it all. He was not happy.

Neji chuckled at his friend's misfortune, but stifled it when he caught the kunai thrown at him. He tossed them to Tenten and she started to target the beer bottles lined up around the furniture.

"Yeah, but this is Kankuro! Since, when does he punk us?" Gaara asked frantic and outraged at his brother actions. Of course, he would have done the same thing but Kankuro?

"Oh please, Gaara! Kankuro's always been like this and, oh, will he pay!" Temari hissed. She huffed at the glass door leading to the balcony. She had no idea how Kankuro will pay without getting caught. She wanted to get Kankuro back but she wanted to pick out the family car too.

As if reading her mind, Tenten suggested. "What about asking Shikamaru for help getting him back? He's bound to know how to get revenge and not get caught. I mean, when he was caught stealing cigarettes? Everyone knew he was the one who set fire to the shop owner's byicle but there was absolutely no proof of it."

"That's not a bad idea, but how would we get him to do it? He'll say it's not his problem and walk away." Sakura stated glumly.

"Temari! You can sweet talk him! He's always had a soft spot for you, even when he hated your guts! He won't be able to resist." Naruto exclaimed, grinning at his brilliance.

"Naruto, for once you've said something useful. And what great timing! It'll work perfectly with Kankuro's demise." Temari commented with a toothy grin.

The day of the incident, Kankuro decided to crash at Botan's house for the night, knowing he'll need to give Temari her space and let her cool down. But he also knew something unpleasant will be waiting for him at home.

"What do you think she'll do?" Botan asked, as he pulled out a futon from under his own bed.

"She'll probable trash my room, say 'A robber came and trash the house', and to prove her point, do minimum damage to her room and Gaara's." Kankuro concluded, and Botan nodded slightly, agreeing with Kankuro's assessment.

Kankuro plopped onto the futon when Botan finished making it up. Botan crawled into his own bed and flicked out the light from the light switch by the foot of the bed. But not before saying, "Ya know, you're sister is scary and I think she's a little drunk on power."

"Yeah, she is but it's my brother that can really kill."

!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#%^&*()!#$

"Looks like my hypnosis was correct." Kankuro muttered as he stepped into the living room.

His favorite reading lamp was scattered around the room in bits and pieces, the recliner was slash, couch flipped over, and the flat screen T.V screwed across the coffee table. The walls were spray painted and lead a path down to Kankuro's room, where who knows what lay beyond the door. If there was a door.

"That's a new one." Kankuro said, raising his eyebrows at his empty doorframe.

"Kankuro, I'm so glad you're home! When Gaara and I came home, it was chaos! We just caught the back of the intruder as he escaped. It was so horrible! Someone was in our house! Can you believe the security here?" Temari exclaimed, throwing her hands up for dramatic emphases, as he stormed from her own room.

Trough the door, Kankuro could see the minimum damage done to her room. A torn sheet here and there, a picture frame lightly cracked, and her desk chair missing a leg. But it was nothing compared to the destruction done to his own.

His sheets were just a pile of shreds, hanging picture were thrown across the room, shattering them, posters looked like confetti all over the floor, and his desk was nowhere to be seen. But what really infuriated Kankuro was the ash pile next to his bedside table. Bits and pieces identified the objects that were burned were the skating videos he and Hisoka made, biking stand-still pictures he photographed with Botan, and the photo album Suzuki made for him as a joke.

If he didn't have any self control, Kankuro knew that Temari would have been in the hospital right there and then, with Gaara dying in the bed next to hers.

Temari was giggly all afternoon, waiting for when Kankuro would come home and go into a tantrum about his room. He would look all over the house, in search of some sort of evidence of what his siblings did with the help of their friends.

She had taken great pleasure of disposing his desk and left the rest of the room to Gaara and Naruto, while Sasuke helped her with the living room, and Sakura carefully messed up small things that could easily be fixed in the other rooms. Shikamaru had been a total sweetie helping us plan it all out. Naruto was right , he is a sucker for a sob/revenge story but that doesn't mean he didn't enjoy the whole affair.

Temari had just gained back her composure, when Kankuro came home, into the mess he started.

When she saw him in the hallway heading towards his room, Temari burst out of her hiding place in dramatic enuseasime.

"Kankuro, I'm so glad you're home! When Gaara and I came home, it was chaos! We just caught the back of the intruder as he escaped. It was so horrible! Someone was in our House! Can you believe the security here?" She pretend raged, throwing up her hands for good measure. I should totally become an actress she thought throughout her skit.

But when she saw Kankuro's eyes and saw amusement in them, she loss all her confidence completely. Was he enjoying this? Did he expect it? No way! It's not fair! The stupid bastard is supposed to be in tears!

Temari watched him turn toward his exposed room and a smirk play on his lips as he surveyed all their hard work. How dare he! Does he not see his room is in pieces?

But the smirk disappeared at once and his face grew to shock, mouth slightly a gaped. That's more like it, jerk! Show a little respect for your punishment. Temari only then noticed the ash heap near Kankuro's bedside table and drew a silent gasp. What did that idiot do?

Temari watch in horror as the shock melted into white hot anger, as her younger brother realized his favorite possessions, other than his puppets, were gone, taken away from him in the light of a match. Kankuro's fists shook and while Temari admired Gaara's cruelty, knew he crossed the line with destroying those objects.

"Funny, that your room is so clean, Temari. You're the pig of the family."

Temari almost jumped at Kankuro's words not realizing what they were but did understand they were meant to cause pain that Kankuro could not bring himself to inflict with a fist.

Kankuro drew a bitter laugh at her silence and punched his door frame with half of the might he wanted to do but still cracked it. Temari was just glad it wasn't her arm instead of the frame.


	5. Chapter 5

Scary Old ladies

The man stepped into the room, overcoat turned up, fedora pulled down. He came for business and in this business you don't show your face. As if to prove the solemn point the room was overly dark, hiding the man's employer. The only light source in the room was a dimming flashlight that was pointed up toward the ceiling. But despite the darkness, the man was able to get a feel to where the other was standing. It was vague but being a professional in his field, the man was quite confident with his accusation.

"Do you have the folder?" When the question was met with silence, the man repeated it, this time zoning in on his employer with chakra, making sure this wasn't a set up. The employer was small, scrawny, leading the hired to the conclusion that his employer was nothing more than a pitiful teenager loose on money and too stuck up to deal with his own problems. The man sighed, what was happening to the next generation?

They waited in silence for almost 3 minutes, when suddenly a pale hand entered the dim flashlight light, within its grasp, a folder. Yellow, standard, it seemed like an average school folder but the man knew the information that it held was vital. Information for his assignment, for his kill. As he reached out to grab it, a voice rang out, cold and murderous.

"I want it to be painful, so he can get a taste of what it's like to truly be hurt, empty… useless."

The man gave a curt nod, and then remembered he couldn't be seen. "Yes, sir. Payment?"

"You will get a scroll when I see the body in the papers, on the news, when it's out and about and confirmed." The employer replied in a bored voice obviously suggesting that the man should leave. So to please the writer of his check, he did, taking the precious files with him.

"Soooo….. I still don't get why you just dropped it?" Botan persisted, hiking up on one wheel of his bike, practicing a one wheeled 360. Kankuro knew that he was referring to 'the incident' but it didn't mean he had to answer any more truthfully.

"I don't want to start a war in my home. I get enough of that at school." Kankuro replied, grinding a pipe before popping off with his black stake board. He loved that thing, with jet black as the main color, white outline and an entrecote design in his signature magenta.

"Yeah, nice try. There as to be another reason or else you would have, a) smashed in their locker, b) dyed their cloths an embarrassing color, or c) set them up in a fight." Suzuki rolled her eyes at Kankuro's lame excuse. She knows her friends and just how much they would bite back if provoked. And Kankuro was defiantly provoked. But he didn't answer and kept skating around the park. He went up the ramp Suzuki was sitting on, only to be pulled down to sit next to her.

Damn, no getting out of this one.

Due to his mistake, Suzuki turned to death glare Kankuro, fire and ferocity in her eyes. This made Kankuro fidget and become nervous, for Suzuki actually killed someone with one of those things.

It was back in middle school, around the time he and Suzuki first met. She was living in an apartment complex and this big, fat, rich man comes along and wants Suzuki's and her family's apartment. He said he liked the view from the balcony and that it was the perfect size. He didn't care that he was kicking a hardworking man and his four kids out on the street, probably never to recover from the monstrosity. The rich man being, well, extremely rich easily bought off the landlord, so on the day when movers were hired to take out Suzuki's stuff, she death glared that rich man with hatred in every fiber of her being. The glared lasted for five minutes before- bam! - The man was dead on the floor. Died of a heart attack was the doctor's conclusion. Needless to say, Suzuki, her dad and her three bothers ended up keeping the apartment.

After that memory Kankuro soon gave in, "Look, if I did start this thing, Tsunade would have my head. She's viscous! She would go on and on about how I was making things worse when I suppose to make them better. How I was soooo irresponsible and then Gaara and Temari wouldn't have learned anything!"

Kankuro was well into his rant and with no signs of stopping. You could see the anger in his eyes and he even started moving his hands for emphasis. Botan stopped in front of the ramp, grinned parked on his face and enjoying the show. It wasn't often Kankuro lost his cool and fired off like this but it happened enough to bored Hisoka, who happened to be Kankuro's best and first friend in Kahona.

"And so, I need to do this, just to get them down a notch. And as sappy as it sounds, I'm not going to be there to bail them out all the time! They can't keep hopping from school to school; when they get older they'll have nothing to fall back on. Get a job? No skills, experience, or the attitude to get them one. Would you hire someone with that kind of criminal record? Who could still have the needs to cause distress to others? No!" With that Kankuro huffed once and shut up, realizing all it took was a prod and he gushed out everything. He cursed under his breath, some ninja he was.

"Soooo…. You were scared of an old lady?" Botan asked, his grin graduating to a full-fledged smirk. He burst out laughing, actually falling off his bike in his fit.

"You should have told her to get someone else to baby-sit! I mean, you! Scared of a woman who is, what, over sixty years of age?" Botan began rolling all over the pavement, tears than rolling all over him. Kankuro was bright red with embarrassment, until he finally found the dignity to stand up for himself.

"Oh, yeah! Well, I didn't see you throwing any punches when she punished you for trashing her office!" Kankuro reminded his laughing buffoon of a friend. Botan stopped laughed long enough to choke out, "Hey, hey! That was different. I wasn't doing her a favor, and she was about to rip my head off! I know when to stop, and besides you can't deck a grandma!"

"Try telling that to the old woman at the supermarket." Hisoka wasn't about to let Botan off the hook of that one, especially since he was the one who took the bullet for that one. A hit and run to a senior citizen, could Botan go any lower?

"Oh, come on! Will you ever let that go?" Botan tried to defend himself, not liking the gang up.

Suzuki laughed at her friends teasing, knowing it was all fun and games here, when they were isolated in their abandoned skate park. But she also knew it was only a matter of time before Kankuro snapped and bites back or his siblings get a wake up call.


	6. Chapter 6

Winter Break

Kankuro was amazed the clock didn't burst into flame from the amount of focus it was being subject to. Every pair of eyes in the room, even the nerds, were trained on it's slowly moving minute hand. Every bit of every soul in the room was willing it's tiny clockworks to move faster, willing it to ring it's bell and announce that winter break has started. After four attempts to call back the class from their limbo of hope, the subsutuite concluded it was impossible from his standing and went on to review the lesson he was given to deaf ears.

Kankuro was one of the first to realize it was useless to stare at the clock and shifted is gaze to the wood of the desk he was assigned to for the semester. Of course, he knew it wasn't even real wood, just a cheap replica, but Kankuro was so bored, he tried to guess what kind of wood it was supposed to imitate. Pine? No, coniferous? Nope, sakura? I'd be puking by now. Maybe-

A sheet of white, folded paper fluttered it's way onto Kankuro fake mystery wood desk. He picked it up casually, hoping it wasn't from who he thought it was.

_Kankuro_

_I'll stop bothering you, if you'll just ask what he thinks about me._

_Melia_

Kankuro sighed, his suspicions proven true. The girl wouldn't leave him alone and was every stubborn as he was. Kankuro picked up his pen and quickly scrawled his return message under Melia's.

_No._

__Short, sweet and quick to the point, just the way to shake someone off. Kankuro turned around and looked for the receiver of his message. He just spotted her two rows back, three desks to his right from his top left corner.

She had elbow-length, bleach-blond hair held back by a simple green headband. Her eyes were hazel but in the right light, they could look sea-green. Her navy blue sweater cut-off just below her shoulders, yet still had long sleeves. Light powder jeans and a brown, slanted-on-her-hip belt topped off the look with her mild blue slip-ons. To summarize, Melia was the pretty face, nice-girl of the grade.

Kankuro tossed the paper back to her, landing it square in the middle of her desk. He watched as she picked up the paper, read it, and frowned. Melia glanced at him and made a pouty face, still pleading. Kankuro shook his head and turned back to his desk, determined to figure out what it was supposed to replicate.

Kankuro knew Melia wasn't going to give up so easily but this time the note came around, it didn't flutter gracefully onto his desk, instead it came as a crumpled ball and smacked him in the back of the head. That ticked him off. Kankuro turned around again to glare at Melia, only to find her glaring right back at him. The glaring contest stood strong with neither backing down for a couple of minutes, then Melia wavered and the bell finally rang.

Kankuro cracked a smile, as now Melia's time has run out. Making a grab for his books, he dashed out the door, not more than five feet from him. He almost made to his locker when a haunting figure appeared at his shoulder.

"Don't think you can shake me with the ring of a bell." Melia said, regaining her composer to glare at him again.

"If you want to know what Gaara thinks of you then ask him yourself. I'm not a messaging service." Kankuro retorted, rolling his eyes that she thought he was restricted by a bell. He just wanted a good start to get away from exactly this.

Melia gaped at him before stating, "What is wrong with you? I can't just ask him directly. I would look stupid. _**'Hi, I'm a girl you don't even know. Do you like me?' **_Have you ever seen anyone do that? No! Why can't you ask for me? Just casually bring me up in the conversation and see how he acts. You're good at reading people; it should be easy for you!"

Kankuro turned to the right, to face his locker and started to dial his locker combination. Melia leaned against the lockers to his left, looking dainty and small in the whole layout of the hallway.

Seeing that she wasn't going anywhere, Kankuro ran his hand through his brown hair and sighed.

"I would look stupid, too, if I brought up a girl he supposedly doesn't know, no matter how casually. And how would you know if I'm good at reading people or not? We only have two blocks together and we're not even friends."

"I can see it in your eyes when you come up with excuses for being late to gym." Melia said, while Kankuro opened his locker and selected the appropriate books for homework over break. He shut his locker and followed Melia towards her locker, only a few down from his.

"Oh, so you've been watching me." Kankuro asked, smirking at Melia. She stuck her tongue out at him before popping open her own locker.

"You wish."

After stuffing her books in her highly decorated backpack, Melia turned to face him and give Kankuro her last plead.

"C'mon, I heard about what you're doing for him. I can help take his mind off it. You need to focus on Temari. She's the harder case."

"True. I'll see what I can do but even after some sense was knocked into him, my brother is still an emotionless cod." Kankuro put in a British accent for effect.

Melia laughed loudly, showing off her straight white teeth, then remembered the topic and pushed lightly on Kankuro's shoulder and said, "That's mean."

"Then why are you still smiling?" Kankuro asked, smiling a real smile himself.

"Oh, shut up." was Melia's last reply as she left Kankuro to join her friends at the main doors of the school. Kankuro watched her go and ignored the faint tug in his chest and that strange look that was in Melia's eyes as; he too went to catch up with his friends.

It was all Temari's idea to go to the ice rink. Kankuro thought it was stupid and a waste of time, Gaara couldn't care less.

"We haven't been to the rink in a while, so why not? It's winter! It's already cold everything else so we might as well go ice skating." Temari exclaimed, as she packed her siblings into the family's light blue Nissan Leaf.

"We've never been to the ice rink." Gaara reminded her, sitting in the back, his feet propped up on the consul.

Temari huffed at him, while she started up the car.

"All the more reason to go then!"

Kankuro paid little attention to his siblings bickering but concentrated on the car. It wasn't very long ago when they came out yet the machine has seemed to take up a lot of progress. Engineers seem to be masters at producing such an unstable vehicle, this leading Kankuro to suspect that this was a project that has been researched upon many years, secretly. Kankuro didn't like them at all. Cars need gas to run (except their Nissan Leaf, the only car Kankuro didn't refuse to drive) and roads to drive on. Then with road new deaths are found from accidents. The engineers might've mastered it but everyone else driving has no idea what they're doing behind the wheel. Temari took a driver's Ed class in school and even just got her license but still drives like a maniac. Kankuro as his learners permit but refuses to drive.

A hard left turn jolted Kankuro out of his limbo, giving him enough to observe a pedestrian angrily making rude hand gestures at the back of their car before zooming out of sight. That was too close.

"Temari, are you sure your up for driving around town? It's not like the highway, you know." Kankuro asked, mentally correcting the pedestrian's false positioning of his hands during the 'rude gesture scene.

"Of course! I have my license, baka! Now shh!" Temari answered, glancing up to the review mirror.

"But you almost made that pedestrian what it's like to be a pancake the hard way." Kankuro persisted.

"He should have been walking faster! I'm going the speed limit. Shh!" Temari quickly replied as she lurched the car away from a corner lamppost. Kankuro was thrown into the car door, which he carefully locked, his head narrowly missing an early greeting from the window.

"Temari! Easy up on the accelerator! You're going to kill someone!"

"I know, just shut up! I-I know how to drive this car, Kankuro! I've driven it to school a couple of times. O.K?" Temari's eyes were wide, franticly darting all over the road, trying to take everything in at once. Kankuro backed off, seeing how distressed his sister was over the power of being able to take an innocent life with one fast turn. He remembered the time he first saw to road connecting his school to the highway world. But that was the thing. The road leads directly to the highway, so anyone can enter the school lot. It was such a danger zone, with already one accident but no fatalities, just a broken leg.

By the time Temari calmed down from her outburst, they were all ready at the rink. Huge, stone and covered with weeds the rink was anything but charming. It was also the most popular meeting place for teens that lucked out on winter break.

"Come on," Gaara said. "Let's skate."

Now the Sand Sibs are anything but graceful. They might move confidently and efficiently but not gracefully. So there was a reason they have never been to an ice rink. That reason being that they did not want to make utter fools of themselves. Knowing how ungraceful his family is, Kankuro was the one to question Temari's motives.

"Why the hell are we here again?"

"It's winter break." Temari retorted.

"So?"

"Sakura said it's what normal people do during winter break."

"And we're normal, how?"

"Kankuro, can't we pretend for a few hours? Just grin and bear it. Besides it wouldn't kill you to socialize with optimistics."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you go find a pretty girl, that's not a total weirdo, and make her your date for Saturday."

And with that Temari handed him a pair of banged up skates and walked off with Gaara with some unknown mission. Kankuro grumbled and complained to himself while he fumbled with the treacherous laces of the rental skates.

!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$%^&*()!#%$^&*()!#$%^&*()!#$

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kankuro had dumbly asked her.

Temari resisted the urge to roll her eyes and sucker punch some sense into her brother. When he wants to, he can be a total genius on what people mean, yet he still acts like an idiot whenever Temari brings up dating. She responded quickly, wanting to move on to more pressing matters.

"That you go find a pretty girl, that's not a total weirdo, and make her your date for Saturday."

Temari then left the fool to his skates, Gaara in tow. Her eyes scouted the rink, while she swung the size-8 rentals at her side. The Blondie purred to herself when she spotted a mid-size boy with dark, spiky hair guarding another uncomfortable-looking blond. Melia.

"Oh Melia! I'm glad you showed up. I was afraid you were starting to avoid me." Temari said with false sweetness covering her words.

"Wouldn't miss a performance like this for the world." Melia replied, coldness covering her own words.

"Of course, you won't" Temari smiled devilish, as she remembered how easy it was to blackmail the younger girl. All it took was one stake out at the local bookstore to uncover the huge manga-geek Melia really was. Who knew one of the most popular girls in such a stereotypical school, would even have time to read Japanese comic books? Temari does now.

"Just tell me what to do and we can move on in our lives." Melia finally said, breaking the silence of Temari's recollection. Smirking Temari turned to Gaara and barked,

"Go chase a skirt."

He reluctantly left, knowing Temari would make a scene if he didn't.

"Now Melia," Temari started, smirking at both her brother's and her captive's obedience. "As you have been doing so far, I want you to continue trying to get Kankuro to help you make Gaara 'fall for you'. The thing is Gaara can't know it's just a distraction because he is the WORST actor ever and will screw up the whole thing. So basically make a scene and keep Kankuro's attention." Temari noticed how Melia blushed just a little at the last part, before she stammered out,

"F-fine but just answer this for me. Why me, of all people? I know you have other girlfriends that can do this for you. The only requirements you seem to have is that you have to be a girl to play the part."

Temari's smirk grew at such an interesting question.

"Because only you are capable of stealing both my brothers' hearts."

**O.K This Chapter has gotten way too long for me. I'll make a part 2 later.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Winter Break Part 2**

Kankuro decided that he wasn't such a bad skater after all. After finally getting into the rink and falling twice, he was able to stray from the wall of the rink and join the fast past inside circle skating route. He kept to himself, not finding anyone practically interesting, and let his mind float around the rink.

_There's Temari and Shikamaru, by the snack counter, why are they so close? She rants about him all the time, hating his guts. And wasn't he dating Ino or Sakura or someone before? And… and… and now they're kissing. And her hands are in his back pockets doing, god knows what. Gross_.

Kankuro wrinkled his nose and scowled in distaste. _Well, THAT was sudden_. He glanced around the rink again, hoping for something to take his mind off of his sister social life. Thankfully on the other side of the rink, Kankuro spied his little brother falling on to someone, yet again.

_Well at least I'm not the only one falling all over the place. But it's strange; he only ever falls on girls. Older girls for that matter… Pervert._ Was there any innocence in this family?

Kankuro chuckled darkly to himself.

_Now that was a good one. Innocence, ha!_

A sharp turn of one of the skaters around him brought Kankuro out of his thoughts. A quick scan around the rink, show him that there was no obvious threat but his years of expertise told him that the guy with the long coat needed to be watched.

At first, Kankuro didn't understand why but then he realized the guy was following his little brother around the rink. Around and around the man followed, coincidently slowing down whenever Gaara fell on a girl yet never touching him. Kankuro didn't get why the man was following his brother but he did know that whatever he was planning was about to happen. And to HIS brother.

In ninja mode, Kankuro zoomed across the rink ready to put up a fight for Gaara. Unfortunately, Kankuro didn't get within 15 feet of his brother or the man before a small figure crashed into him going almost at the same speed he was.

"Hey! Watch it, asshole!" Kankuro growled out, now sprawled out on the cold ice floor of the rink and the figure now sprawled out on top of him. It was not comfortable.

"And….GET OFF!"

"I would if you'd get off MY leg, BAKA!" The figure yelled back, and punched his arm.

"Wait, I'm not on your leg." Kankuro struggled out from under the person and was met with the comical reality that they had started a massive panic with our collision. People were spread out on the floor all over the rink, some still falling and more trying and failing to get out of rink. Kankuro quickly spun around to find Gaara when he remembered the stalking man. Upon finding Gaara taking advantage of the situation by trying to help up a rather chesty college girl, Kankuro let out a sigh of relief.

"Um excuse me, jerk but I believe you owe me. Let's start with this." The person Kankuro had crashed into. A moment later, Kankuro found himself back on the rink floor. Kankuro grunted but wasn't really hurt for he has taken bigger hits before. Finally he looked up at his offender (who actually said it was his fault anyway?) and recognized who it was.

Melia.


End file.
